The Week in Which We Call in All You Super Sleuths

or A Balderdash! Murder Mystery

It was only a matter of time, I suppose. Last night, here in the Balderdash! offices, there was...a murder.

Our Senior VP of Quality Assurance, Ted Blunderweave, was found dead at his desk. He had been bludgeoned to death with a copy of our internal company guidebook, 14,641 Ways to Plausibly Deny Accountability. Because everyone on staff is a doodle made of ink, watercolor, or markers, there were no fingerprints.

Ted was generally despised by everyone on staff, and most people had a motive for getting rid of him--his smell, his appearance, his tendency to mutter lines from Paul Blart: Mall Cop while he worked. But only a handful of people were in the offices last night with the opportunity to strike.

I'll be the first to admit that I was no great fan of Ted Blunderweave. But duty and affection for mystery movies compels me to question all possible suspects and bring the killer to justice. But I need some help. Can you figure out whodunnit?

PROMPT:

Your turn. See if you can identify Ted Blunderweave's murderer.

(1) Carefully consider all of the suspects' statements and look for clues.

(2) If you locate a suspect we missed, be sure to draw a picture of them and take down their statement in a rhymed quatrain.

(3) Based on the evidence, use a convoluted system of photographs, notes, red yarn, and cork boards to narrow the possibilities down to a few logical probabilities.

(4) Share who YOU think the murderer is. And show your work so that I can steal it to give to the police later.