The Week in Which We Trusted Our Guts

or Starting a Bowel Movement

Earlier this week, I was venting to a patient friend about an important decision I needed to make. Something about finances or the hallucinations I've been having or good exterminators for termites...I don't remember. That part's not important. The important part was the crazy bit of advice he gave me: "Just trust your gut."

What a cool, novel idea, I thought! Like, in a world of Google and predictive text and reels made by the experts on Instagram, could putting faith in my own entrails help my brain make a decision that wasn't 100% terrible? Could I trust in the insights of my insides, the brilliance of my bowels? Maybe!

Because we believe in science here at Balderdash!, I gave the staff a very specific task this week. I instructed everyone to STOP using their brains, best practices in research, and examination of credible secondary sources and, instead, START experimenting with making judgments based on messages from their intestines.

The results:

PROMPT:

Your turn! Ignore all other resources for decision-making and self-reflection and "Just trust your gut," bro!

(1) Have a problem or question or confusion. Something that creates tension within and/or serves as an obstacle (material or psychological) in your life. Something about which you should probably make intelligent decisions or from which you should draw intelligent conclusions.

(2) Buy an ultrasound machine.

(3) Ask your gut for its input on the subject you chose for Step 1.

(4) Use the ultrasound machine to listen for your gut's response.

(5) Follow this advice PRECISELY AS IT IS GIVEN.

(6) Make a little cartoon about it.

(7) Show your friends!